The Grapers

Due to my desire to not do any more homework, combined with Reed's resistance to his own homework, and my mother's annoyance to our constant giggling from the kitchen... I made up a story about... a family.

(Reed has formally named The Grapers.)

Mrs. Graper, and Mr. Graper... have two babies named Hermie and Mildie.

And Mr. Graper's face is smudging off. It's a tragedy.

Not to mention Hermie is kind of deflating.

I suppose they have health issues.


And this concludes my incredibly productive evening.

I am not too sure if I am just posting this because I feel this is a wonderful expression of creativity at its finest... or I am taking any chance I may find to do anything but homework... either way. I think they are charming.

ITS A CUP! WITH WATER IN IT! OK!

I was once told,  that everything contains both joy and despair... the only thing that separates the two is this allusive thing called time.

I've been thinking about that lately, and I see the truth in it.

 In many ways.

That new car? That brings so much joy now? Well, in time, something will happen to it, it will need repairs, may break down, and bring on stress that was not originally there.

Like my car.

 I was a blubbering fool 
the morning my car acted like it was about ready to hand over its keys 
and say "I shall work no more"

Or "I will live, only if you pay for my medical bills"

Right. Car. I love you, but please... behave?

Its like the cellphone that worked great, until yesterday, you dropped it in the toilet.

My electronics have a bad habit of trying to swim.

I think this stretches into our relationships as well. People are lying to you if they say marriage is simply a walk in the park on a lovely autumn day. All that joy on the wedding day, is stark contrast to the angry nights filled with flashy-angry eyes and harsh words.

But yet, sacred are the days both set aside the pride and reconcile.

But there is also joy that brims over by the trials of despair. Struggles that seemed to be impossible, through time (and a lot of God action) become a memory that brought on the growth of today.

The exhausted marathon runner, turning the corner and seeing the finish line for the first time. The joy of crossing that marker despite all the exhaustion and pain running through their veins.

Or you could be like me, and throw huge pity parties because the to-do list is too high and the "I wants" are not feasible or allowable...

they are pretty epic

Rather, instead of constantly battling between the mind game of "cup half full or cup half empty?"

Which can make you want to scream and just say 

"ITS A CUP! WITH WATER IN IT! OK!"

I'd rather take the moments of despair and pair it with the reality that there are times of joy. Realizing that this world is crazy, upside down most of the time, and constantly clouded with the driving force of greed, fame, and power.

Thank goodness for God's peace and constant hand, in which permeates everywhere, and does not have to be separated by the concept of time. It withstands all time.

I am reminded that God's mercies are new every-morning.
But honestly, ever feel like you abuse God's mercies? I pray in bed every morning, and sometimes I wonder if God ever gets tired of me praying and confessing the same things over and over and over again. The battle feels exhausting, and I get tired of feeling like I am messing everything up. I understand that this is when we rely on God's strength, and not our own, but I cant even seem to be able to manage that half of the time.

I feel like a converted heathen who's trying to figure out how to act properly now. I'm just tired of rule books. I'm setting aside the self help books for now and just going to go write a paper for an English class. 

21 Things that Irritate Dani

I get irritated with the things that irritate me, especially when I feel like they are things I'm too embarrassed to confess irritation about. So instead of sitting here in my bed relishing the irritation running through my veins, I am going to see how many times I can express irritation through a post that contains the word... irritation.

I know. I shall write about things that irritate me. This will make me forget about the current one.

1. People talking with their mouth full of food. Chew. Swallow. Speak. And in that order please.
2. People who consistently talk over you. Like your telling a story, and they don't even bother to listen long enough to realize your talking. Granted, most of my stories on the spot aren't too hot... but man.
3. Whenever turning signals are left on. Forever.
4. Being late. The longer I'm late, the higher the agitation rises. Until a certain point. anything after 30 min, I have to give up. I can not maintain a level of irritation above 30.
5. Feeling unprepared
6. Never having a night, or afternoon, to myself. No expectations. Nothing big to accomplish. Just me, my yoga pants, hoodie, and whatever the HECK I want to do. (I here these moments disappear with kids.)
7. Being embarrassed and put down by people your close to, in inappropriate moments. (examples: holiday gatherings, birthday parties)
8. My over bite. I feel like a gasping bugs bunny when I'm laughing.
9. Whenever my car makes a strange noise
10. When I can no longer find enough bobby pins to put in my hair
11. When it is too hot to snuggle up into bed with all my covers
12. Whenever my sister's cat Honey decides to howl into my ear, hour before my alarm goes off, because she's hungry.
13. I like those little bottom pieces of popcorn at the bottom of the popcorn bowl. If you love me, you will leave those for me.
14. I'm a closure freak. Its sad. In fact, I'm such a closure lover, that I end all conversations with valiant goodbyes. I tie everything up in nice bows and send them off with glowing farewells. I feel gypped if not returned. Though I am learning to cope. 
15. Warm milk
16. Cereal with too much milk
17. Socks in bed
18. People who complain about everything. I don't mind a little, but.... everything?
19. Having too much to do, with too little time.
20. Over thinking
21. Getting irritated with things you wish you were too cool to be irritated about. 

I will say however, I found this to be a precious moment of my night:

Dani: "Sometimes Reed, you don't act 11." 
Reed: "That's because I am all of 11. I am 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1! That means I can act like any one of those ages"

Brilliant little brother.

So there. I am 23, but I am all of 23. And this means, sometimes I can act like an irritated 15 year old once and a while.

I actually feel much better now!

I shall go Find my Grumpy Pants and Slither into them and Whine

So lets all pretend to be shocked here, as I confess: I've been busy.

My instant reaction to being "too busy!" is to go find my grumpy pants and slither into them and whine about the demands of life. I've been trying to organize the differences between venting, and complaining... because I do believe they are different. I try to just vent currently,and do my best to swallow the complaining... because good grief- I signed up for all of this!

I've noticed however, that there is a deep sense of fullness intertwined throughout life. God is everywhere, and always there. My relationships have much deeper meaning, where I live has purpose, what I do is... well an end to a means for the most part, but God is in that too.

One lovely blessing in my week, is that I help out with The Dock (an after school program that seeks to touch kids lives with the truth of God). I go in on Mondays. Pretty much, I hang out with a kids between the grades 6th-12th and get beat in every game I try to play.

I'm not even kidding. I can't even win a sticken game of Uno to save my life. I believe the kids team up against me as I frantically try to win. But I'm a pretty good looser, so it works out

I'm scheming up a defense to my loosing streak, and thinking of having a craft table. Because no one looses at crafts, and no way can I loose at a craft "I" invented. Its brilliant.

I also speak at "Talk Time", a lesson the kids have to listen to before "snack time"

  Which, is by the way, way more popular than talk time. No body denies the amazing-ness of food apparently

A few Mondays ago was my first time. I choose to share with the kids my struggles with forgiveness, and what the Bible says about forgiveness. I mean, when you read the verse that says "God will not forgive you, if you do not forgive others"... thats a pretty big deal! In fact, it stood out as a very, clear, and loud warning to my current circumstance.

So next Monday, I lead talk time again... and I have been rummaging around in my brain for a good topic, trying to go for what God wants me to share. I have great ideas that use art, I have other ideas that use... other things... but I just have this strong conviction to use things that are relevant- and what God has been speaking to me.

So I am currently outlining a talk about the word "Honor", and the story I have about this word, and what it means, what it looks like, and what God has to say about it, and bla bla bla. We shall see what happens. I'm thinking slide show... keep me on track... yeeaa

In the mean time, I have a test to finish up, a paper to write, coffee with grandma, and the Dock's Grand Opening to attend, and all the other things a weekend in Dani's life include.

I will add however, I am rather proud of my breakfast this morning. I, the woman who eats cake and ice-cream for breakfast...

Or like the other day, a can of Broccoli Cheese Chowder, finished off with an oreo before school.... and I am choosing to deny the chocolate chip breakfasts...

Had three bowls of Frosty Mini-Wheats! This is a step! I tried this thing called oatmeal a few weeks ago, but couldn't get over the gooey texture. It was not pleasant. But frosted wheaty things in some milk? I can handle.

So this box will last me a few days before my brain panics and becomes convinced it is stale. 

Am I the only person who freaks out over stale food? 

How American am I? 

That I freak out over food, thats not rotting, but stale... as in... flavor is a little less than desirable...

DO NOT even get me started with my phobia against mold. oh-my-goodness-sakes.