“The voices of the world are loud and sparse, but the voice of God is a constant whisper.” —Benjamin J. Elger

Someone once told me that I should stop stressing out over things and just let God show me the next step. (Not the FUTURE or the PLAN just the next STEP). Another told me that sometimes, the step God asks of us- hurts.

So my theory? If something comes into your life and its difficult, and uncertain, and forces you to trust on God entirely... it might be the one you should take.

But how many of us do? I mean, God still loves us even when we tiptoe through life. or we like to think so (mainly by ignoring the lukewarm verse where He says he will spit us out of his mouth.) We like to ask God to bless what we are doing, ignoring that fact that maybe we should be doing what God is blessing... but never mind that! Because dancing and jumping through life is pretty dangerous ya know? And I am not just saying "you might break your leg" dangerous, people have died from walking into the uncertainties.

We are all captivated by something. We are ALL captives.

What is captivating you?

And just so you know... this process is insane. One day I feel at peace, the next day I feel convicted, the other sad, and the next numb, followed by dreams and renewal... and then repeat.

But its God.

and I will not complain when I know that God is working on me

reveals to me that after all that I have done, He still hasn't given up on me yet. :)

OH! And I have a follower!!! This is lame.. but that really did make my day. Thank you Amber and Rusty :D

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know. -Boorstin

So it is back to school.

Back to my planner with its different colored highlighter-system (Yellow means homework, Green means due date, and any other color.... means whatever I darn well want it too! geez). It was time to sit down and re-label my paper binder-holder-whatever-you-call-it with update classes. Print out class schedule, and feel the relief when you learn that the $250 dollars you had to spare for school books was just right.

I am in two education classes this time, and it has opened my eyes to a few things already. You see I choose Elementary Ed. rather naturally, however the only personal experience I have as a student in elementary school goes UP to Kindergarten. Which I never really thought much about, until I hear my professors say things like: "remember when your teacher would..." and all I have to recall back on is... well... my mom. And its not like my mom had teaching strategies that went beyond the words printed on the text book's teacher's guide.

NOW! Before ANYONE gets the impression that I am denouncing my mom for homeschooling me, I want to say that she did a marvelous job. We are not in-apt from our previous education what so ever, and we owe that 100% to our mom. Well, maybe more like 80%, I did start school in school and graduated from school in school. But needless to say, Thank you mom :)

What I am trying to express here, is that I have a blank slate. I am this girl, going to college sitting on edge waiting to here some guidance on how you effectively teach. Part of me is scared that this will not be an advantage, that my naivety will give me false impressions and silly ideas. But possibly this "clean slate" idea is a benefit yet to be discovered.

This is a huge learning experience, a time in which I have to coach myself to not just sit back and get by but throw myself into it my education and get the most of it while I can. Decide for myself through trial and error what works and what does not.

Its just... really? 3 more years? How much does that stink?

Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors. —African proverb

First day of the year, and I am crabby as they come. Instead of saying "Happy New Year" you should just say to me "Grumpy New Year". Luckily I am not convinced that this will be the foretelling of things to come this year. I honestly am not sure if I can top last year's grumpiness, it was rather epic.

Someone at work asked me, "So what was great about 2009?" and my brain smirked. However, I simply said, "I moved out of my mom's, and moved back in, and completed my first semester at Grand Valley"

The end.

I entered the New Year with my courageous and inspiring friend Kara. I was proudly given the title of "Good parking spot finder" and we freezed or little toes off in our high heels.

And we talked for hours and wore silly party hats for pictures and sipped on champaign. Then had a sleepover, went to sleep talking, and woke up talking.

I will always be amazed on how long I can talk to people I love and never grow tired of it.

And with that, I will take my grumpy butt to bed and wish you all a Happy New Year.

May we grow this year and keep pressing onward.