Pride in what we do

There is something about preparing for marriage, that drags a spot light onto your relationship with God.

Suddenly I see all the ways I do not trust God, and all the things I cling to like their "mine". You know, the stuff that single Dani never had to really share. Suddenly boundaries that were ok for dating Dani, now are dangerous for married Dani. (Such as making decisions that will effect his life, without... checking to see if that's ok. Who knew!?)

I feel like my heart is under construction right now. Turns out being a workaholic gives you the credit of "hard worker", but behind this runs a frantic woman who does not believe God can provide unless she... well... works! (sometimes... a lot!)

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not trust in your own understanding. Agree with HIm in all your ways, and He will make your paths straight" -Proverbs 3:5-6

I can not fathom being provided for... even though I look around, I can see all that God has provided for me, graciously.

I am actually rather embarrassed reflect on how I act when my fiance comes beside me and offers to help carry a load I've been juggling by myself for a long time. You would think he's ruining my life! Gee wiz!

I think there is a lot of pride, in what we do. If I were to be honest, I would have to confess that there is a slight satisfaction in taking the hard road, and surviving. Work, go to school, get those A's, bake those cakes, make that time, read those books, write them papers, volunteer at that after school program, mentor a young girl...plan a wedding... spend time with mr. awesome... coffee with friends... and pay for tuition... and bla bla bla bla.

"A proud man starts fights, but all will go well for the man who trusts in the Lord. He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be kept safe" Proverbs 28:25-26


And just incase you don't know this yet, being foolish is exhausting.....
So I will go to bed, and start a BRAND NEW day!
Because mercies are new EVERY morning